Poem 32
As long as I can remember I have been more of a stranger
In this world of short friendship than he who was born in a manger.
He was the great Outcast, but he had a home to which to return
And six hundred years rest before his next alien sojourn;
But I, when I leave here, will still be seeking a place to rest,
A stranger on the roads tolerated as a one-night guest.
He, though few knew Him, had one beloved breast on which to lean;
I am still seeking a beloved whom I have never seen.
He was the supreme poet, the undisputed lord of the Word;
I sometimes manage to write a couplet that is not too absurd.
He came of his free will even though born of a woman in a manger;
I was hurled here from the womb of God, a naked and utter stranger.
The strange thing is, I am more touched by His suffering than by my own,
And I would have the jewels of my heart plucked out to encrust His throne.
Doing it tougher than the Avatar Himself!
The poem plays a game of self-pity, humorous but with a rueful touch. It is no joke to feel alienated from the world. It is a world of ‘short friendship’ because the poet can no longer relate to it. His own ignorance and rootlessness is an enormous contrast with the majesty and purpose of the God-Man. And the very perfection of the Avatar makes our efforts seem puny – ‘I sometimes manage to write a couplet that is not too absurd’.
It is not difficult to feel a certain empathy for the poet’s plight. Being lulled into this perhaps softens us up a bit for the impact of the last verse
The strange thing is, I am more touched by His suffering than my own,
And I would have the jewels of my heart plucked out to encrust His throne.
The intense physicality of this plunges to a deeper level than the musing of the rest of the poem. At this level we know. We know that He is love personified, the creator, the redeemer, the vicarious sufferer for all, that any jewel of heart comes from Him and is His.
The poem is of course referring primarily to the incarnation of the Christ. In the gospel of His “beloved disciple” John He is revealed as the Word. His sufferings wring hearts because of His perfect innocence and His bearing of the universal burden.